Sexuality is a multifaceted, vital part of being human, so why do men typically reduce it to performance, performance, performance? It may surprise you to learn that The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior states that just over one-third of women (36 percent, to be exact) feel that a wide array of sex techniques is a must for maximum bliss.

With the advent of Viagra and other performance-enhancing supplements sweeping the nation, you may hold the new world record for time, but it's a fact that an engine needs proper maintenance to keep it functioning proficiently year after year.

So, how do you keep your motor-and hers-purring? Here's five ways to put your sex life back on the fast track.

Gentlemen, start your engines

Testosterone makes men go from zero to maximum speed in 60 seconds or less.

Keep in mind that while you may be a Ferrari, your female partner is more like a Bentley.

"Estrogen is slower and pickier, and female arousal is much more gradual," says Deborah Blum, author of Sex on the Brain. This extends to foreplay, which for her, isn't what happens 10 minutes before the Main Event.

Sultry French film siren Brigitte Bardot once said that sex begins early in the morning and ends when you go to sleep at night, meaning that the way you treat her throughout the day can determine how things will go later in the bedroom.

If she sometimes has trouble getting into a higher gear, you can blame it on stress or fatigue, but the real reason might be that you're not warming up the engine properly.

Alternative fuels

"A decline in your sexual health may mean something's wrong with your overall health," says Hank C.K. Wuh, M.D., M.P.H., co-author of Sexual Fitness.

Overall, it's the quality of what you put in the tank that makes an engine-or a body-run more efficiently. And there's some encouraging news that the lifestyle program Wuh created might: In a 30-day study of 25 men and women (median age 42), 82 percent said they experienced sexual desire more frequently, 50 percent said their level of desire increased, and 40 percent reported an improved sexual relationship.

Wuh's seven strategies in a nutshell: eat a healthy diet that contains "good fat" proteins, like soy products, nuts and avocados; take certain herbs and vitamins, such as vitamin E for added circulation and increased libido; avoid medications that can cause sexual dysfunction; stimulate your senses; exercise regularly; get enough sleep; and, most important, learn healthy ways to manage stress.

Jump-start your heart

Not only will exercising 30 minutes a day make you look and feel sexier, it will also increase your stamina and level of control, according to Terry Mason, chief urologist at Chicago's Mercy Hospital. "An enhanced body as a result of exercise provides visual stimulation. Everybody wants somebody who visually turns them on," Mason explains.

"Secondly, cardiovascular exercise increases endurance, and that can be a paramount issue in being able to have the level of intensity that the couple would like to have."

In addition, an October 2004 article in the Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality concluded that individuals who exercise regularly feel better about themselves, perceive they are more sexually desirable and experience greater levels of satisfaction.

Schedule regular maintenance

While most guys know the maintenance schedule for their cars, few know how often they should visit the doctor for regular tune-ups.

Even fewer want to go in for a check-up when a warning light starts to flash. In 1999, the Journal of American Medical Association surveyed 500 men of 25 years of age or older, which showed that 70 percent felt their doctor would dismiss any concerns about sexual problems.

In fact, the opposite is the case. Most health care providers want men to learn and practice self-examination, discuss any problems and schedule regular visits for early detection of testicular or prostate cancers. And, to a woman, a willingness to talk about and face your sexual problems head on only makes you more of a man.

Plus, like a well-maintained vehicle, we'd like to keep you around for those leisurely Sunday afternoon drives (and occasionally smoke your tires) for many years to come.

Dangerous curves ahead

A 2002 survey by the University of Chicago, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, asserts that, in all age groups, one in four American women does not enjoy sex, and one in three men across age groups thinks he is sexually inadequate.

All the rest feel unhappy and dissatisfied because they think they are not doing it right, not doing it enough or not doing it the way their partners want them to.

Why so much angst? First of all, stop using the overtly sex-saturated media as your standard user's manual, in which everything is reduced to simple mechanics and impossible standards.

Ultimately, a healthy and satisfying sex life is more about quality than quantity; it's the vitality of the relationship, personal preferences, creativity and the depths of real passion we explore with our partner that makes the biggest difference at the finish line.

CONFIDENCE . It is sexy, attractive, and alluring to both men and women!
How a person carries and presents himself or herself is a time-tested aphrodisiac. It's also a quality that both sexes eagerly look for in a long-term partner. Confidence reflects self-acceptance and self-love.

1. Spend some time getting to know yourself.
Use your Advice for Me report from your TRUE Compatibility Test to do some thinking about what makes you "you." This doesn't necessarily mean hours of reflection (although some of that is good as well). You can also learn a lot more about who you are by getting out in the world and doing things. Meet people, take up hobbies, volunteer - you'll discover much about the world and reinforce your own sense of self at the same time. Get involved in your life!

2. Act on it!
When you're feeling insecure or doubting your abilities, don't hide away. Take a deep breath, get out there, and do the very things you're unsure about ... even if you have to start small. If, for example, you want to act in a play, but you're not sure you can do it, why not sign up for a very small part? You'll build your confidence.

3. Conquer fear: take risks.
Sometimes life requires a small "leap of faith." You'll feel good that you took some risks, even if they don't always work out as well as you hope. At least you can say you tried!

4. Stand up for yourself.
Low self-esteem often leads to lack of assertiveness; and when we don't voice what we want and need, we end up feeling worse about who we are. Build your assertiveness skills, and it will get easier in time.

5. Set personal goals.
Decide where you'd like to go, and make a reasonable, yet challenging, plan to get there. Set deadlines and a system of rewards to keep you going. (A goal, by the way, doesn't have to be a huge life decision, like "become a doctor". It can be anything you want to have in your life, like "Make one new friend" or "Learn to make jam.")

6. Learn from - but let go of - mistakes.
Absolutely everyone, no matter how perfect they may seem, messes up from time to time. This is how we learn - like the process of learning to walk as children. If we don't stumble, we don't learn how to keep our balance. Keep this in mind as you venture out into the world. Be gentle with yourself.

7. Do things on your own - don't rely on others to make you feel good.
One potential trap of a shaky self-esteem is dependency on others. The real truth is, if you feel a void inside, no one can fill it but you. While healthy relationships are important for happiness, more important is the relationship we have with ourselves.

8. Don't compare yourself to others.
You may look at someone and think they have something you don't, but the fact is they may be looking at you and thinking the very same thing. Someone may be better than you are at tennis, for example, but you can tell a much better joke. Judge yourself by your own standards, for you are unique!

9. Associate with people who affirm who you are.
Do you have toxic relationships with people who criticize you or make you feel small? Take a good look at the people you surround yourself with and how they affect your self-esteem.

10. Learn to say "no."
You will be surprised how much simpler it is than you think. When you really can't or don't want to do something, say so. (In, of course, a polite and non-aggressive manner.)

11. Practice truthfulness.
Avoid white lies. We often fib because we think we are sparing feelings or making things easier, but dishonesty only ends up making us feel bad about ourselves. Don't present a false face.

12. Practice positive affirmations.
Write down 5 or 10 things you really like about yourself. And next time a negative thought pops into your mind, replace it with something positive.

13. Find things you enjoy.
Whether it's sewing, drawing, swimming or karate, hobbies are a big self-esteem booster. Even if we are not experts, doing something for the pleasure and challenge builds our sense of who we are.

14. Use visualization techniques.
If you're anxious or doubtful about your ability to do something (ask your boss for a raise or compete in a marathon, for example), practice visualizing that moment in detail. Imagine yourself pulling it off smoothly. It'll lower your fear and boost your confidence.

15. Enhance your ability to cope with stress.
It's not so easy to believe in yourself if you're stressed out. Develop a repertoire of strategies for calming your spirit and incorporate them into your life as much as possible (like reading a good book, talking to friends, riding a horse or taking a bubble bath).

16. Shun perfectionism.
Interestingly, there is a high correlation between perfectionism and low self-esteem. The more you strive to be perfect, the more frustrated you become when you realize it's impossible! Be aware of any perfectionist tendencies you have and keep them in check.

17. Make a list of your accomplishments.
Include anything that made you feel good about yourself, without thinking about whether it is technically an "accomplishment" or not. (Your ability to relate to children, your chess talent, the amazing cookies you make, the great short story you wrote.) Refer to it whenever you need a boost.

18. Live in the moment.
The more time you spend dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, the more of the present you are wasting. Life is NOW, and you should get out there and embrace it.

19. Do nice things for others.
It's easy to get wrapped up in your own little world and forget that there are people out there who are in need. Give to others (your time, company, whatever you have to share) and you'll find yourself feeling better about yourself.

20. Take care of yourself physically.
Eat well, get enough sleep, kick nasty habits and get some exercise. Treat your body like it deserves to be treated!

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