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Fill in the Blanks Break Up Letter

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Got a broken Heart? Use this form Letter!

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell like maggot poo?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid.

Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know.

I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success.

True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering.

But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.

I Hope This Helps - Not!

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Top

Famous People Quotable Love Quotes!

  • "Catch a glimps in his eyes, hold it tight, begin to cry. This is it, he's the one, now hold him close and love him tons". - Katie Hummel

  • "Love is the history of a woman's life; it is an episode in man's."
    -Germaine De Stael

  • "Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy."
    - Henry Kissinger

  • "We find rest in those we love, and we provide a resting place in ourselves for those who love us."
    - Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

  • "The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness, which becomes at times almost insupportable."
    - Victor Hugo

  • "Love, like truth and beauty, is concrete. Love is not fundamentally a sweet feeling; not, at heart, a matter of sentiment, attachment, or being 'drawn toward.' Love is active, effective, a matter of making reciprocal and mutually beneficial relation with one's friends and enemies".
    - Carter Heyward

  • "Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas."
    - Dave Evans

  • "Love-is anterior to Life-
    Posterior-to Death-
    Initial of Creation, and
    The Exponent of Earth-"
    - Emily Dickinson

  • "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
    - Hellen Keller

  • "Where love reigns the impossible may be attained."
    - Indian Proverb

  • "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."
    - Ingrid Bergman

  • "Love looks through a telescope; envy through a microscope."
    - Josh Billings

  • "A goal, a love and a dream give you total control over your body and your life."
    - John Wayne Schlatter

  • "True love begins when nothing is looked for in return."
    - Antoine De Saint Exupery

  • "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it.
    Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it.
    Hatred darkens life; love illumines it."
    - Martin Luther King, Jr.

  • "Who has not found the heaven below
    Will fail of it above.
    God's residence is next to min,
    His furniture is love."
    - Emily Dickinson

  • "Love is the whole and more than all."
    - E.E. Cummings

  • "Love withers with predictability; its very essence is surprise and amazement. To make love a prisoner of the mundane is to take its passion and lose it forever."
    - Leo Buscaglia

  • "The greatest tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love."
    - W. Somerset Maugham

  • "Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within the reach of every hand."
    - Mother Teresa

  • "What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  • "The richest love is that which submits to arbitration of time."
    -Lawrence Durrell

  • "There is no remedy for love but to love more."
    -Thoreau

  • "Blushing is the color of virtue."
    -Diogenes

  • "Mightier far than strength of nerve or sinew, or the sway of magic potent over sun and star, Is Love."
    - William Wordsworth

  • "The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration."
    - Pearl S. Buck

  • "Love is patient, love is kind.
    It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
    It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
    It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
    Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
    It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and perseveres.
    Love never fails."
    - Biblical Texts

  • "In the eyes of a lover pockmarks are dimples."
    - Japanese Proverb

  • "Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one."
    - John Keats

  • "To live is like to love - all reason is against it and all healthy instinct for it."
    - Samuel Butler

  • "Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit."
    - Khalil Gibran

  • "So dear I love him that with him,
    All deaths I could endure.
    Without him, live no life."
    - William Shakespeare (Romeo & Juliet)



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