How to get the partner and relationship you want!

Deep and long-lasting love, dating and companionship are possible. The secret is that couples must be able to change an unconscious relation into a conscious one.

Most all couples that start relationships, do so through the means of an unconscious relationship, or when in a state of infatuation.

They may feel that their love is "magical" - and that one's partner is "The One." What many do not realize is that this "one", "this person of your Dreams" has characters - expressions, voice, posture, and physique - Qualities that match an image or ideal in one's subconscious.

Usually such an image is taken from ideals created by people in the past, such as caretakers, parents and the like.

Unfortunately, many a times people will pick mates that have similar negative rather than positive qualities and these only become obvious, after the "glow" of romance fades.

Examples: Picking a husband that nags like your father or a wife who ignores you like your mother. The romance, in such a case can become "unconscious" because the partners are feeling love based on their unconscious anticipations getting met. Problems emerge when a partner does not repair those negative traits.

Then, instead of love notes, back rubs and spending time together; partners in a relationship start to "escape" into separate interests, and pursue other activities and "friends."

This is also a good explanation of why sometimes people get more furious at their partners than the situations should warrant.

Example: You leave home early to swing by your boyfriend's office and surprise him and panic when you realize he has left early. You are fearful that he may be having an affair or is growing disinterested in the relationship, because as a child your father would often be late picking you up at school.

The key to changing the unconscious marriage into a conscious involves taking precise steps: Repeat back to each other what one says about their needs.

Tell one's partners that you understand the logic of the needs given possible childhood incidents.

Re-romanticize by sharing what pleases you most. "I feel loved when you held my hand and wrote love notes." Or "I feel loved when you call me from work and listen when I'm upset."

Surprise each other with one new activity each week - dancing, cycling or tennis.

Visualize your love healing your partner and yourself and this new conscious love will flower into broader positive vibrations for others and an even more spiritual union with the universe.

All in All, online dating, chat or pen pal correspondents is great fun! You can meet some wonderful people online who may become lifetime friends or even more; and if you're learning any language, it's a great way of using and improving your knowledge of your target language.

However, it is possible that people looking for e-pals, pen pals, pen friends or love online may encounter some problems.

By knowing about these potential problems one can try to avoid some of the traps which may await. Therefore, we have put together a few of the most important things anyone looking for any kind of friendship online should consider before adding an address to a site.

Most pen pal or dating websites have a large number of people using their service, and when a large number of people are involved with anything, not everyone is going to be either honest or nice, but remember, the only one that knows for sure that you're a newbie is you, so don't be intimadated!

Some people visiting pen pal or Dating sites do so in order to find people to try to scam.

Please be aware that many scams on the internet do exist. Most scams involve people asking for money or saying they have large sums of money that they wish to invest or that they need a bank account to transfer the money to.

Internet dating is one of the most popular dating venues these days. No longer is it necessary to go to the bar down the street to find a date.

No longer is it necessary to romance someone through flowers and candy on a date. Dating has become a cyber event.

Not only can you meet people through cyber dating but you can actually court them through cyber dating as well. But, what you need to remember is that cyber dating needs to be kept safe.

Safe online dating doesn't mean no cyber dating. Instead, you should take precautions like any other dating situation.

Things that are personal to you, like finances and business relationships should be kept out of the cyber dating world. Instead, learn about each other lives. Safe cyber dating is important because of many reasons, but the most important reason is for your own protection.

Because cyber dating is so easy to get into, there are many people who use cyber dating as a means to lure people into their scams or bad situations.

Cyber dating is a smoke screen, unfortunately, to many people. And, even if the person you are dating in cyber space is on the up and up, that does not mean that your date hasn't lied even just a little about him or herself either. Cyber dating is also a good way to hide.

So how can you be safe in dating on the Web? Don't trust individuals with your personal information.

Don't provide cyber dating partners with information regarding your home address or financial information.

Meet your cyber dating partner in an open area where other people are close by for safeties sake. Take your time getting to know your cyber dating friend. Cyber dating, even after all of this is said and done, is still a great way to meet people.

Use your common sense, trust your intuition

It's always good idea to take precautions when meeting people online, just as you would do in the offline world. The following tips are just some of the things you might want to consider as you begin online dating. These tips are not designed to scare you, but to encourage you to be smart, use common sense, play it safe, and have fun.

• Remain anonymous. You should avoid being identified online. Start by getting a free, anonymous email account. Never give out your real name, phone number, or address in chat rooms or in personals ads. If you decide you want to give out personal information anyway, be sure you're giving it to someone you can trust.
  
  
• Be honest. Be truthful in your personals ad and in online conversations. Make your intentions clear. If you're just flirting, be sure that the other person isn't taking you seriously. Being honest can prevent disappointment for both you and your potential date. Just remember - you could end up meeting this person. You don't want to hurt others' feelings with false impressions.
  
  
• Always pay attention. Listen to your intuition - it's your best defense. Use common sense. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Even if you feel it, it's a smart idea to save saying I Love You for a face-to-face encounter. Pay attention to habits and moods - are they changing? If something doesn't feel right, feel free to stop communicating with that person.
  
  
• Wait till you're comfortable to call. Let the other person bring up the idea of talking on the phone. When he or she asks for your number and you're not ready to give it out, politely say "no," but ask for a number you can call when you're ready. If you decide to call, pay attention to who answers the phone and the background noises you hear. Do they match what you know about the person?
  
  
• Take it slowly. Spend as much time communicating electronically as is necessary for you to feel comfortable enough to actually meet the person. Don't be coerced into meeting face to face. If someone really wants to meet you, he or she will wait till you're ready.
  

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